by Pardingtone Nhundu.
- Don’t be nice only be Strategic: My mom always said something similar to this common phrase, “Show me your friends and i will tell you your character”. The people around us and worse of closer to us define directly or indirectly our character. Thus be strategic in selecting your community or your close community because those people just influence who you are. Be nice yes but select people to fulfill a certain target, weakness or to benefit from a strength you have.
- Be familiar with Unfamiliarity: So yesterday I was listening to a video made by Tyrese Gibson on this topic. He made it so simple and clear: there is that person closer to you and you have just developed a natural bias towards their characters and can’t notice they are misleading you or themselves. You just like a little teenager glued in “friend-zone” against his/her will and rearing to crossover to a loving relationship. What do you need? Make some alone time, critic the merits and demerits of all your close companions and most importantly, trace your decision making experiences and notice the effect your companions have been having.
- Avoid Simplistic Generalizations: I read an article yesterday by Dr. Roberta Neault a renowned scholar in the area of Career Development and founder of Life Strategies Inc. She said, when you meet people they have different cultures and backgrounds but that does not give you a green ticket to, at first hand describe their characters. It will just be injustice. For instance, you meet a Ndebele girl married to a Colored guy and they are staying in South Africa but their business pushes them to travel the globe frequently. Hence one cannot only define this young lady with emphasis to a Ndebele background. In the same manner when you meet friends avoid simplistic generalizations that you quickly have same opinions, desires, dreams and motivation to achieve life goals.
- Understand the Impact of Differences: After avoiding simplistic generalizations be clear on the power of differences. A priest friend of mine always says, “There are things you can do and there is room for forgiveness and all but once you get to the non-negotiable then its game time”. Notice your areas of strength as friends and be clear on non-negotiable because you might be close to an opposite sex friend.
- Be Curious: There are many ways to know and discover you r friend’s character and appreciate who they are around you and even when they aren’t around you. The approaches or methods cannot be stipulated but what I can say is, time will make you know. But during that time don’t just relax unnecessarily and be curious to know you friend better. The advantage is you know what to say and when to say something to that friend. You will know if you friend is better placed as a business partner or not. You will know if you friend is better placed as is or must be a life time partner. So, Just Be Curious!!!
